If you are feeling triggered by the news and what happened to the brave young woman at Cornell, please know this:
It wasn’t her fault.
It wasn’t your fault.
She is worthy of respect, kindness, and love.
You are worthy of respect, kindness, and love.
She is good enough.
You are good enough.
She deserved so much better.
You deserved so much better.
She deserves to feel safe.
You deserve to feel safe.
If the first statement in each pair is easier to read—and easier to believe—than the second, you are not alone.
But notice that.
Sometimes we can see so clearly for someone else what trauma makes incredibly difficult to believe about ourselves.
You know she didn’t deserve what happened to her.
You know it wasn’t her fault.
You know what happened to her does not diminish her worth.
The same is true for you.
Trauma is treatable. You do not have to spend the rest of your life carrying the shame, fear, or suffering that someone else’s actions left behind.
You deserve to feel better about life.
You deserve to feel better about yourself.
You deserve to feel safe in the world.
You didn’t deserve what happened to you.
You know that’s true for her.
It needs to be true for you, too.
EMDR therapy can help. You can visit Emdria.org to find an EMDR therapist near you, or reach out to me. If I’m not the right therapist for you, I’ll help you find someone who is.
Whitney
Founder, Beach Cities Psychotherapy
P.S. Read what’s on my mind about it here.