Yesterday was the one year anniversary of the day I fell and broke my face on a beautiful Spring morning.

It was April 3, 2021. I went for a long run and about a mile and a half into it, my face slammed into the pavement. I don’t remember why I fell but my hands did not catch me and I can vividly remember the crunch of my face hitting the ground and blood pouring out of my nose.

The ER Doctor told me that my nose would never look the same again.

My therapist asked me what the lesson was in the fall. I have spent a year thinking about this very question and these are the lessons I came up with.

1. No matter how alone I may sometimes feel, I am never alone. I needed help and it was everywhere. Friends, family, my kids, strangers. When I fell, a stranger named Martha saw me bleeding, walking home and she gave me a ride, even during a pandemic. Reaching out to friends for help is not my strength but I did it because I had to (they don’t let you take an uber home after surgery), and I felt so cared for. Friends were everywhere and I am forever grateful.
2. People are kind. This includes my clients. For a week, I had a surgical sponge stuffed up my nose. One time and one time only, it spontaneously dripped blood. Of course this happened while in session with a client. And my client was so kind about it along with all of my other clients who sat with me in sessions while my face turned colors and swelled.
3. I am resilient. Truth be told, I have fallen a lot of times in my life, metaphorically and physically too. I always get back up. I am always okay. And this is the first time I ever broke a bone.
4. I’m never going to let someone tell me what I am going to look like. The ER Doctor was lovely and kind but he can suck it because my nose looks the same despite him telling me that it never would. It took finding an amazing surgeon (thank you, Dr. Michael Newman in Torrance), but my nose looks exactly the same.
5. I don’t run with my hands facing up anymore. I liked to run with my hands facing toward the sky and I think that may be why my hands couldn’t brace my fall. I run with my palms down now. This holds true in all of life. Enjoy the run, be prepared for the fall. This doesn’t mean anticipate the fall or live in fear of the fall (although it took me a while to be able to run without doing this too), but it does mean to run knowing that falls happen sometimes and so I need to make sure I can support myself if and when they do.
6. Self-care heals, self-care cures, self-care prevents. But it’s not everything. Falls happen. Sometimes out of nowhere on a beautiful day when engaging in a mindful act of self-care.
7. Blame the ground. Yes, I do blame the ground. It was uneven where I fell. I won’t cross that street anymore (although I can’t remember exactly which one it was so I avoid a whole stretch). But here’s the kicker, as much as I want to blame the ground, I am grateful for it too. In every other moment of my life, the ground has been there to support me.

It hurt to wear glasses for a long time and for months I crossed streets with my hands out-stretched like a mummy terrified of falling.

But I am okay despite breaking my face and despite the fall.

Falls happen. Get back up. Keep going.

There are always lessons in the fall and they are always worth finding.