Many of my clients struggle with the wreckage caused by a parent who has a Personality Disorder. Having a parent who has Narcissistic or Borderline traits is confusing growing up.
Their erratic behavior may leave you feeling as though there is something profoundly wrong with you.
Their inability to empathize with you or offer consistency in the parental relationship may feel traumatic. When a client realizes that their parent has a personality disorder, it is sometimes a relief — they finally understand the parts of their childhood that felt so confusing before. However, there is often work to be done as a result. Therapy can help.
Most clients who have a parent with Narcissistic or Borderline traits experience a great deal of grief.
They continue to reach out to their parent for the kind of care their parent isn’t capable of giving and, as a result, they are consistently disappointed. It’s painful. Setting healthy boundaries is critical. It’s not about punishing your parent — it’s about protecting yourself. You can’t change them, but you can change the way you engage with them. You can adjust your expectations and interact accordingly.
Another piece of fallout as a result of having a parent who has Narcissistic or Borderline Personality traits is that you may struggle with having healthy relationships of your own.
You may unconsciously attract and/or be attracted to people with personality disorders because you’re good at managing them and it feels like home to you. Sadly it was.
Your comfort level around personality disorders makes it easy for you to fall into an emotionally disconnected relationship with someone with a personality disorder even when that’s not what you want. You may crave emotional connection and at the same time feel incredibly uncomfortable with it.
The good news is that we can change the way our brains fire and function which means we can change the way we do relationships.
Having a parent with Borderline or Narcissistic traits is not easy and may leave you more vulnerable to disconnected relationships. It may require some work and even some discomfort to get there, but I am inspired my clients who take it on and create the healthy relationships they want for themselves.
It is possible to create healthy relationships and process the grief and trauma that come from growing up with a parent who has a personality disorder. If you need help, I am here to support you and help you move through it.
The Team Behind the Message:
At Beach Cities Psychotherapy, our team of dedicated therapists truly care about your well-being. We are passionate about sharing valuable information to support and guide you on your journey. Whether you’re facing life’s challenges or seeking personal growth, our team is here to ensure you receive the compassionate care and support you deserve. We’re committed to helping you navigate through your concerns and are always here to take care of you every step of the way.
More From Us:
Self-Love: Why Prioritizing Yourself is the Key to a Fulfilling Life
Have you ever noticed how easy it is to take care of everyone else but yourself? Whether it's making sure friends and family are okay, meeting deadlines at work, or constantly being available to others, you can quickly find yourself at the bottom of the priority...
Toxic Masculinity: Recognizing the Signs and Embracing Emotional Growth
Toxic masculinity is a phrase that gets thrown around a lot, but many people aren’t quite sure what it really means. At its core, toxic masculinity refers to the harmful and rigid ideas of what it means to “be a man”—ideas that suppress emotions, encourage...
Infidelity and Cheating: It’s Not About You—You Deserve Better
When you find out that your partner has cheated, it’s easy to slip into a spiral of self-blame. You may start to question whether you're good enough, smart enough, or attractive enough. You might wonder what you could have done differently. These thoughts are...